


Lovestruck Sunshine

by starrylitme



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa Zero, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Almost Kiss, Awkward Flirting, Blood and Injury, Budding Love, Car Accidents, Hospitalization, Idiots in Love, Isolation, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mild Language, Poetry, Slice of Life, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 07:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13922460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: “A meeting can be,Chance as well as happenstance,Summer’s first sunshine.”In which Hinata tries to win the heart of his complicated crush. Komaeda tries to refute, fails, and falls.(Written for the KomaHina Secret Exchange.)





	Lovestruck Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of years ago (yikes!), I wrote a introspective komahina fic involving poetry for an exchange. This, too, is another introspective komahina fic involving poetry...for an exchange. This time, however, I had to rewrite the poems in question because the translation of the haikus DIDN'T FUCKING FOLLOW PROPER HAIKU STRUCTURE. I am still bitter about that. I did my best. I like how they turned out, at least.
> 
> It's set in zhen/v3 bonus mode au. Whichever strikes your fancy. I honestly really like writing in the hpa school days verse. It allows for some colorful interactions and that's really enriching to the vibrant school day-to-day setting. Granted, not everything is, er, sunshine and rainbows. I like to acknowledge that, too, in fics like this.
> 
> This fic just kept getting longer and longer after I told my friend I'd keep it a manageable word length. Hahahaaa. I'm hopeless.
> 
> All things considered, I enjoy this fic and I hope you do, too!

“H-Here!”

Today, a girl handed him a love letter.

And, honestly, he’s a little awestruck.

“I, I don’t care how long it takes,” she said, flushing quite darkly. “I don’t care how long I have to wait for an answer, either. I just want my feelings to be understood.”

“Oh. Alright. But, _uh_...”

He looked nervously at the letter in his hand. It’s really cute, being a pink envelope with a cat sticker. He can think of a lot of guys—both here _and_ in the main course—who’d feel pretty lucky receiving such a thing.

_Lucky..._

“Why me?”

“Because you’re a pretty reliable guy,” she said, fiddling with her ponytail. “And I feel like you’re one of the easiest people to talk to.”

“I... Uh...”

“So!” she exclaimed. “Make sure it gets delivered okay?! I-I can trust you with this, right, Hinata-kun?!”

“O-Of course! I’ll make sure it gets to him!”

“Thank you...” Swallowing, she nods, looking at him with wide glimmering eyes. “Let me know when you do. I gotta get going.”

With that, she rushed off before Hinata could say anything more. Left with the letter, Hinata can only hold onto it before going on his way and making the delivery as promised.

_Reliable. Easy to talk to. Trusted with something like this. Like a side character. Then again, I’m the kind of loser who can’t work up the courage to confess at all, not even indirectly, even if one of us was at risk of dying. Even though my crush is—_

Hinata grimaced.

**_Urgh._ **

* * *

“He’s IMPOSSIBLE is what he is!”

_Contradictory. Unpredictable. He’s just—urgh!_

“URGH, how am I supposed to write a guy like that a letter, much less tell him DIRECTLY?!”

“I dunno,” Nanami said honestly, playing her game without a care. “Komaeda-kun is the kind of route with ten bad endings.”

“I _knooow_ ,” Hinata moaned, face into his hands. “Komaeda’s way too difficult for the average nobody.”

_And that really hurts to think!_

“You aren’t a nobody,” Nanami said without even looking at him. “You’ve got a heart and everything. I think.”

Hinata sighed harder.

“And Komaeda-kun thinks of you pretty highly,” she went on. “He’s a little difficult, but he’s more open with you than anyone else. I don’t think you should just give up before trying, Hinata-kun, even if Komaeda-kun’s route is super daunting.”

 _And she is right,_ part of Hinata agreed in a tone he despised a little. _If you just gave up, you’d basically be validating Komaeda’s low self-esteem._

He could already imagine how Komaeda would react if he found out.

 _“Ahaha, someone like me really is so worthless that even those who_ do _like me would give up right away! Oh, but that makes sense, it makes sense! Someone like me isn’t even deserving of being liked in the first place!”_

Hinata tightened his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms. In times like these, he closed his eyes to listen to the world around him. The fountain’s spray, the rustling leaves, Nanami’s button mashing, the sound effects of her game, the whistling breeze that carried Komaeda’s giggle so well—

Hinata leaned until his back was flat against the bench, opening his eyes to stare hard at the vibrantly blue sky with clouds that resembled his crush’s hair.

“So,” he said. “Do you have any advice, Nanami?”

Nanami, for what it was worth, turned away from her game. Probably because she won. She usually didn’t take a break from playing under any other circumstances.

“I don’t really know much about romance besides dating sims,” she said. “But, um, the first thing would just be to ask him out, right?”

“We already hang out regularly,” Hinata replied. “And even if I told him it was a date, he’d just think I was joking. That’s the kind of person he is, unfortunately.”

“Yeah,” Nanami agreed. “Komaeda-kun’s the kind of person who says thank you after you tell him you like him because he thinks you’re just trying to make him feel better.”

_...you say that like it’s from personal experience._

“Or at least I think so,” Nanami added. Hinata nodded without verbal comment even as he gave one internally.

_Oh. So you do._

“Maybe you should try a different approach, then,” Nanami said. “What about flirting?”

“Flirting,” Hinata repeated.

“Flirting,” Nanami agreed. “Of course, Komaeda-kun might just laugh it off, but he might get embarrassed as well or maybe even flattered...”

Hinata perked up and imagined it.

_With how pale Komaeda is, he’d look really cute when blushing._

“I’ll try flirting, then.”

“Komaeda-kun likes poetry,” Nanami said. Hinata got flustered. “Hinata-kun likes poetry, too, right?”

“Uh...” His blush darkened. “Y... Yeah. I do.”

_Poetry, huh? Komaeda likes poetry. Well, I would’ve figured that._

“Hinata-kun, you already look like a tomato.” Nanami gave him a mildly worried look. “Are you sure you’re going to survive?”

“O-Of course!” He got to his feet. “Who do you even take me for?! If it’s for that guy, I’ll manage for sure! I just...!”

_Need to cool off._

Well, that was what the fountain was for.

Nanami didn’t even flinch when he dunked his head into the water. She just resumed his game, and wished him luck.

_Luck. Yeah. I’ll need a lot of that to woo the Ultimate Lucky._

* * *

He had scribbled down several choices and several bits of poetry. More than once, he had crumbled up the paper and tossed it to start anew. His waste bin now needed to be emptied out, but that’s unimportant right now.

_What’s important right now is...! Komaeda, right over there!_

“H... Hey Komaeda...!”

 Komaeda doesn’t seem to hear him, and it’s weird because Komaeda doesn’t seem to be doing anything. He’s just, standing there, lying against the wall, head tilted back and eyes shut as though he were lost in another world.

_Uh...?_

“Oi, Komaeda...?”

When he touches Komaeda’s shoulder, Komaeda does perk up and turn to him.

“Ah, Hinata-kun!” He pulls an earbud out of his ear and just like that, Hinata deflates. “Does the reserve have important business with me? It’s rude to get the attention of someone with earphones in, you know.”

“...yeah,” Hinata sighed. “I know.”

_I already screwed up._

“Oh, but you don’t need to look so glum, Hinata-kun!” With a laugh and a wave of his hand, Komaeda gave him that calming smile. “My time is pretty inconsequential.”

Hinata only grimaced.

“Or were you just bored and looking for a way or relieving it?” Komaeda asked. “That’s fine too, I suppose.”

“It’s not like that, it’s...!” He runs out of steam just as he can muster it. So he’s left stammering and shivering as Komaeda frowns and tilts his head and confusion. “It, it’s, it, it, it...!”

“...what is it?”

All his notes fly out the window, and Hinata shouts the first thing that comes to mind.

“Your eyes are really pretty!”

Immediately after, Hinata made the sound of a dying balloon.

Komaeda stared at him as though his head had turned into a balloon.

“...um...”

 _You can’t give up!_ Hinata reminded himself desperately. _You can’t back down, you can’t falter, not when it’s Komaeda!_

“I-I could...really get lost in them.” _Don’t give up, don’t back down, don’t falter!_ “They’re like frost on glass! They’re really beautiful and may seem cold on the outside but inside, they house...warmth.”

Just like that, Komaeda blushed darkly.

_Score!_

“Yeah,” Hinata said, exhaling a sigh of relief. “They’re, uh, really, really nice.”

_Especially with Komaeda’s snow white hair and long eyelashes... But I really shouldn’t get carried away. Definitely. Definitely. I gotta give Komaeda some time to let it sink in._

His heart was racing a mile a minute.

_Yeah. Sink in._

He was dangerously close to passing out any minute.

“Well,” Komaeda said. “Hinata-kun’s eyes are really pretty, too. Way prettier than mine could ever be. They make mine look like dirty dishwater, really.”

“Y-You’ve definitely got that wrong!”

“No,” he hummed. “I’ve definitely got it right. After all...” Komaeda stepped closer and Hinata nearly stumbled back. “They’re hazel, but in this light, they almost look a warm, vibrant green. Green is the color of growth, of prosperity and fortune. It’s a lovely color as well as one filled with hope, such as the hope that sleeps in Hinata-kun’s heart.” Hinata’s eyes went wide as Komaeda’s lashes lowered along with his voice, the words dragging out into an almost seductive croon. “Hinata-kun’s heart, Hinata-kun’s eyes—both are filled with such wonderful, wondrous _hope_.”

“I... I...” A bead of sweat ran down his cheek. “I...”

“At least that’s how you’d return the fire, right?” Komaeda asked with a delighted clap. “Flirtation exercises really are such _fun_ , aren’t they, Hinata-kun?”

No answer.

“Eh? Hinata-kun?” Komaeda blinked, looking once again confused. “Isn’t this the part where you say my eyes stand out more because of my hair? Or do you concede already? That’s not much of a fight, Hinata-kun! How else are you supposed to impress Nanami-san?!”

Then and there, Hinata collapsed.

“H- _Hinata-kun_?!”

The last he saw before his vision went out, unsurprisingly, was Komaeda’s blurring, beautiful face.

“Hinata-kun, _hang in there_!!”

* * *

When he woke up, Komaeda was unsurprisingly there.

“Hinata-kun! Good morning! You’re alive after all!”

“H... Hey...” Awkwardly, Hinata gave a wave. “How long was I out?”

“A few hours,” Nanami said. Oh. _Nanami_. Nanami was there, too. She wasn’t playing her game, but she did look awfully unimpressed. “Komaeda-kun was crying because he thought you died from a sudden heart attack. He was fretting over how this wouldn’t even bring a sufficient amount of hope in compensation because you were just a reserve student.”

Komaeda had the decency to look embarrassed. Hinata honestly felt a little worse, even if he wasn’t all that surprised.

“Sorry, Nanami-san,” Komaeda mumbled meekly.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” she said. “I think.”

Komaeda still looked troubled.

“U-Uh.” Quickly, Hinata cut in. “I should be the one apologizing, though. I mean, I really worried you, huh, Komaeda?”

“Well, yes, but...” Komaeda looked meaningfully between him and Nanami. That...was a little weird. “It’s not _my_ feelings that matter here, Hinata-kun!”

And why did it feel like Komaeda was scolding him now!?

_Did I miss the memo on something?!_

“Anyway,” Nanami said. “Hinata-kun’s okay. I’m gonna go. I left Mioda-san with my game.”

_Well, at least it isn’t any wonder why Nanami would be in a hurry._

And yet, despite that, Komaeda protested.

“W-Wait, Nanami-san!”

Nanami paused at the door, and genuinely, she looked confused.

“What is it, Komaeda-kun? Can’t it wait until later?”

“Um...” With both Hinata and Nanami looking at him weirdly, Komaeda ducked his head. “Never mind. Sorry. I spoke out of turn.”

“Okay.” Nanami shrugged. She waved them off. “Bye-bye. Later.”

They returned the favor, and Nanami walked out without another word.

The long drag of awkward silence that followed was almost so predictable it was painful.

“Sorry, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said. “I know you wanted her to stay.”

Hinata blinked and made a face. “I _didn’t_ , actually?”

“Ah, you’re putting on tsuntsun airs, huh?” Komaeda nodded understandingly even as Hinata didn’t understand at all. “I get it. It’s pretty embarrassing, huh?”

_I definitely missed some kind of memo. That or Komaeda completely misread the situation._

God, it could’ve been either or. Both was possible, too.

 _Urgh..._ Hinata rubbed at his temples. _God, what the hell is even going on right now? Considering how Komaeda is talking about Nanami right now it might be..._

**> Komaeda thinks she and I are fighting.**

_Probably not. He wouldn’t have assumed I wanted her to stay. Unless he thinks I want to make up for said non-existent fight? But we...haven’t fought. And honestly we’ve never given that impression either as far as I can remember. So, yeah, that one’s improbable at best unless Komaeda really is living in a fantasy world._

**> Komaeda thinks she and I are part of a covert affair to unravel a deep-running conspiracy within Hope’s Peak Academy and is respecting our wishes that he remain out of the loop.**

_I’m not even sure how I came up with this one. But also probably not._

**> Komaeda thinks I like her. In _that_ way.**

_Oh._ Fuck _. DOES HE **ACTUALLY** THINK THAT?!?!_

“Hey, Hinata-kun...”

“It’s wrong!” he exclaimed desperately. “You’ve got it ALL wrong! We’re just friends, Komaeda, just _friends_!”

Komaeda flinched, and gave him a bit of a pained smile.

**_FUCK?!?!_ **

“I’m not so insecure that I’d _completely_ doubt our friendship, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda chuckled weakly. “I know I can be a bit worrying, but assuming something like that from me is...pretty distressing... I swear I’m not that bad.”

“N-No! _No_! That’s not what I meant!”

“Hinata-kun, be careful!” Komaeda reprimanded him sharply and sternly, immediately making him shrink back. “You already fainted once! You really shouldn’t push yourself so soon!”

“But... But, I...”

“Tsumiki-san left out some pills, of course,” Komaeda went on, taking said pills to put them into Hinata’s hand along with an open bottle of water. “You really need to take it easy, Hinata-kun. You’re only human, after all.”

“I... Uu...” He popped in the pills and downed it with a swing of water. He sighed afterwards. “Sorry. I should just take this slowly, huh?”

“It is more romantic when you take things slow, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said cheerily.

Hinata flustered.

_God, Nanami, I might not survive after all._

“You, uh, think so?”

Komaeda nodded easily.

“Although,” he went on. “Everyone’s different. Nanami-san in particular can be rather eccentric. And quite dense when it comes to romance, honestly! Haha! One time she even asked me for help in clearing a route and that sure was an experience! Goodness, where does Nanami even find _these_ games? It was so...so _unsanitary_ , Hinata-kun!”

_Nanami, what the actual hell did you show him?!_

“I... Huh.” He nodded back. “I see, I see.”

_I don’t want to have a conversation about something like that with Nanami but—oh, fuck, wait!_

“U-Uh, on the subject of Nanami...!” Hinata nearly choked but he downed some water to recover. “I, uh, think you got the wrong idea about us, Komaeda. Nanami and I, we’re... Well, we’re just friends. That’s what I mean.”

Komaeda blinked at him.

“Is that so?”

“Y-Yeah, it’s so! So, so... Don’t worry about it?” _Argh, what else am I supposed to say?!_ “We’re friends. Just friends.”

“I see...” A pause. “Then why were you flirting, Hinata-kun? I thought that was because you were trying to get a better grasp on a sense of romance.”

_What does any of that even mean?! No, wait, actually, he might just be right. Like, completely right._

“Well, that’s...”

“So if it’s not Nanami-san,” Komaeda pondered. “Who else, then, are you looking to impress? Koizumi-san, perhaps? You two would be a good match. She can keep you on a tight leash, ehehe!”

 _Is that what he’s into? Urk. Stop thinking about that._ “Er, no, it’s not her either.”

“Hmm?” Komaeda crossed his arms, and Hinata was starting to regret every decision he ever made up until this point because Komaeda’s eyes lit up the way they would when he was face-to-face with a mystery that he just _had_ to solve. “Then! Mioda-san? Colorful and expressive! Is that what Hinata-kun looks for?”

 _Colorful..._ He looked at Komaeda’s brightening smile and sparkling gaze. _Expressive._

“Yeah, but I don’t look at Mioda in that way, either.”

Komaeda pursed his lips.

“Maybe... Kuzuryuu-san, then? In your class? Well, you and Kuzuryuu-kun already have a brotherly relationship, right? So, I suppose...”

“It’s not any of the girls,” Hinata hurriedly cut in. “I... I mean... I like girls but the person I’m interested in isn’t...y’know...”

“So it’s Kuzuryuu-kun, then?” Komaeda asked, making him fluster. “Ah, I see. So that’s the type Hinata-kun is interested in...”

“I-It’s not Kuzuryuu either!” he exclaimed. “You’re really far off the mark!”

_I know that you have no confidence whatsoever but come on, Komaeda!_

“Souda-kun, then?”

“GOD, _NO_!”

Komaeda flinched, and Hinata flinched too, feeling a little bad.

“You didn’t need to say that so forcefully, Hinata-kun.”

“Uh... Yeah. Whoops.”

_Urk. Sorry, Souda._

“Well, there are plenty of other guys it could be, but... Um, actually...” Komaeda rubbed at the back of his head, rather sheepish. “Come to think of it, Hinata-kun’s the type of person who gets along with everyone... So I could spend all day guessing names. Although...” He falters just a little. “Someone with Ultimate Luck unable to make a lucky guess for something like this; I really do have a worthless talent, huh?”

**_Urgh._ **

“No, Komaeda, it’s...” Hinata could only sigh. “It’s more that you wouldn’t guess this person in a million years. It’s got nothing to do with luck in this case.”

“That’s a rather cryptic answer, Hinata-kun.”

_It really isn’t, considering the kind of person you are._

“I probably should let you get more rest, all that said.” Komaeda clapped. “Haha, sorry, sorry! My worthless, incompetent self probably kept you from getting the rest you need! Or something like that. Somehow when it’s you, I just lose track of time. I wonder why? Is that your talent? Just kidding!”

Hinata didn’t answer, and he handed over the empty water bottle for Komaeda to throw away. Komaeda hummed as he went on his way, and Hinata swallowed before forcing out the words.

“W-Wait, uh, Komaeda?”

Komaeda stops ever obediently, turning to blink at him with those wide gray-green eyes.

“I, uh... I still need to work on my flirting,” he grumbled almost lamely. “You really overwhelmed me last time.”

“Ah, because I read a lot, Hinata-kun! I don’t actually know anything about real romance!”

“Still,” Hinata muttered. “It was pretty good. So, can we keep, uh...doing that...?”

_Is that really how I’m putting it?! Isn’t this a really fucking weird request to make in the first place?! Then again..._

“Ehe, okay, Hinata-kun. If you want.”

_Komaeda really doesn’t have any sense of normalcy, especially with how eccentric the other main course kids are._

“Be sure to get your rest in, right? Enough to face a new morning, as Hinata Hajime-kun! Ooor something like that.” Komaeda laughed. “Something like that.”

“I only wish I could be as calm as you, Komaeda Nagito,” Hinata returned, exasperated. “As calm as...the trees, I guess?”

“Ooh, close! But I’m far more like a rotted branch than any sort of tree, Hinata-kun.”

“No, not...”

But by that point, Komaeda had rushed out, flicking the lights as he could. Figuratively and literally leaving Hinata in the dark.

“...really.”

_Uh._

There wasn’t much to do but lie back down, sigh, and let his eyelids fall shut.

_Geez, that guy really is too much._

* * *

_Too much._

For a while, they kept flirting with each other.

“Hey, uh, did it hurt, Komaeda?”

“You’ll have to be more specific, Hinata-kun! I’ve been hurt 17 times today! 5 from the back, 4 from the side, 3 on the...”

“W-When you fell from heaven, I mean?!”

“Like the devil?”

“Ack! I... I mean...!”

“It hurt very much when I fell for you, Hinata-kun! Even taking gravity into account!”

Hinata nearly choked, worrying Komaeda greatly.

* * *

_He’s just too much._

“Komaeda, you don’t have much of a sweet tooth, right?”

“Yeah, it is. I prefer salty, actually.”

“Salty...”

“Hmm?”

“I-I mean! Uh. I guess you’re too sweet for sweets! Or, uh, something like that? H-Ha... Haha...”

“Hmm. Come to think of it, Hinata-kun’s like a candy bar, huh?”

“Huh?!”

“You’re half-sweet, half-nuts! Because, your hair...!”

“ _Oh_...”

“Oh! You’re really looking red, Hinata-kun. Aah, you need to go cool off! You’re too hot already!”

Hinata immediately ran off. Komaeda only laughed, even as his voice cracked with a harsh wheeze.

* * *

**_He’s just...!_ **

“ _A meeting can be; chance as well as happenstance; summer’s first sunshine._ That’s how the poem goes, r...ight...?”

Hinata meets his eyes, hazels wide and almost uncertain. Komaeda perks, and then he laughs.

“Yes, it is. Ootaka Sho, right? I really like that one. The uncertainty that precedes any mutual understanding and reconciliation of feelings. It’s very romantic! Well done, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata colored.

“That said,” Komaeda went on, turning back to the window. “With it raining like this, perhaps it’s not the most appropriate to woo someone with right now.”

Hinata deflated.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“But there is another good one, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda exclaimed. “Because, when the rain clouds part and the sun shines through... A rainbow appears, right?”

Hinata blinked.

“And when that happens... _The rainbow stands there; and it is almost as if; you are here as well._ Takayama Kyoshi. Ehe. That’s not exactly how Takayama-san’s poem goes, but it is really romantic, too, don’t you think?”

“I... Yeah. Geez, Komaeda, you really have a way with words.” Hinata’s smile twists, just a little. “How am I even supposed to keep up with you?”

_You’re just..._

* * *

“He’s just SO MUCH, Matsuda-kun!”

“Don’t fucking _screech_ at me.”

Matsuda threw a book at him, but Komaeda ducked out of the way to bury his face into his hands.

Matsuda scowled as Komaeda’s muffled squeal. Even if Matsuda covered his ears and pressed to block out everything, Komaeda’s whining was high-pitched enough to leave them ringing.

“Uuu, Matsuda-kun...” Komaeda sniffled. “I don’t know what to do, and I’m just so ashamed! To be like this over a mere _reserve course student_! Even if it’s Hinata-kun, where are my standards?!”

“Rotted away like the frontal lobe of your brain,” Matsuda answered bluntly, lip curling. “Why the hell are you whining to me about this instead of Gekkogahara-sensei again? I’m pretty damn sure _an actual therapist_ can give you better relationship advice than me.”

Komaeda’s frown deepened, lips quivering.

“But aren’t you in a relationship, Matsuda-kun?”

Matsuda froze briefly and then he glared daggers. “Who the fuck told you _that_?”

No answer save for a few wide-eyed blinks. All Matsuda could really do then was sigh and just shake his head. “ _No_ , I’m not. Urgh, god. She spread that rumor again, didn’t she? That ugly, _cheap_...”

“A-Anyway!” Komaeda suddenly exclaimed before Matsuda could finish with a likely especially off-color insult. “As much as I...endlessly respect Gekkogahara-sensei, um... Asking her for relationship advice, or, rather, asking _Usami_ for relationship advice...”

The image was enough to threaten cavities, and both of them knew it.

“Yeah,” Matsuda conceded. “Fair.”

A pause.

“But I’m still like, one of the worst people you could talk to about this, so you’re still a dumbass, Komaeda.”

“I don’t really have anyone else _to_ talk to about this...” Komaeda fiddled with his fingers. “Sorry, Matsuda-kun. You’re the only person who actually tolerates and listens to me besides Hinata-kun.”

Matsuda didn’t miss a beat. “Your class really fucking sucks and I hope you know that.”

Komaeda ducked his head, wide smile straining.

“You shouldn’t say that about your fellow Ultimates, Matsuda-kun.” Matsuda rolled his eyes but Komaeda went on. “B-But that’s not my place to talk, of course! I’m barely an Ultimate! Of course... Hinata-kun isn’t an Ultimate at all. And _yet_...”

And yet.

_Hinata-kun’s smile, Hinata-kun’s presence, Hinata-kun’s kindness, hearing Hinata-kun’s voice...saying such words..._

It really was nothing short of a miracle he could bounce back. And he really was so lucky that Hinata could be so, so, _so_ oblivious.

“Don’t overheat, Komaeda,” Matsuda snapped, effectively snapping him out of his reverie as well. “You’ll make yourself even stupider.”

“Right, sorry!” He laughed, but it came out as a wheeze and hurt his throat. Rubbing at it, Komaeda swallowed. “Hinata-kun really knows how to play with someone’s heart. I really don’t understand him, trying to flirt with _me_ of all people.”

Matsuda raised an eyebrow.

“A-And I flirt back!” Komaeda exclaimed, flushing. “B-Because that’s being a good, accepting friend! Right?”

Matsuda’s eyes narrowed.

“ _Right_?!”

“Komaeda,” Matsuda said slowly. “I don’t have any friends except for that one nutjob neither of us like to talk about. And nothing about that friendship is normal. Or functional, for that matter.”

Komaeda winced and wilted like a dying flower.

“What’s scary is that I don’t know how much I can take this—how much longer I can control myself. Things with Hinata-kun are getting really _dangerous_.”

_Hinata-kun is just a reserve course student... But Hinata-kun to me feels like he’s more than just... Even though he’s just...!_

Matsuda sighed.

“If you like the guy, then you like him. This isn’t that complicated, cottonweed. I know you have a shit-ton of mental and emotional hang-ups, but sometimes a tree’s a tree and a crush is a crush. You’re overthinking it and that’s _dangerous_ with how fucking faulty your half-baked brain is.”

Komaeda shivered and looked as though he were close to curling up.

“Do you really think that your luck will just cause that antenna on his head to attract lightning or something?” Matsuda asked.

Meekly, Komaeda shrugged.

“It wouldn’t be the strangest thing my luck has ever done.”

_My luck has struck down so many, many unremarkable people. Hinata-kun would be no different. He’s not any different. He’s just like every other faceless body caught up in my luck. It shouldn’t matter. **But.**_

“God,” Matsuda exhaled sharply. “Well that sucks.”

Komaeda laughed weakly.

“It’s fine,” he insisted as he always did. “It’ll be fine. Bad luck begets good luck. If Hinata-kun does die, another fortune will await. But, I still don’t want him to die so I’m a little on edge.”

_So, what should I do?_

Matsuda didn’t seem to have any answers. Matsuda, in fact, seemed to be deep in thought, staring hard at some papers on his desk. Distantly, Komaeda thought about how Hinata would make a similar expression.

**_Hinata-kun._ **

“I think I’ve overstepped my bounds,” he said. “I’ve been entertaining this unremarkable nobody for far too long. It is best to separate.”

“Hinata’s going to put up a fight,” Matsuda pointed out. “And he’s pretty stubborn.”

“I’m stubborn, too,” Komaeda replied, puffing out his cheeks. “I may have a garbage talent, but I’m still above Hinata-kun’s level. That’s all there is to it.”

Matsuda’s gaze flickered back to meet his own.

“Good luck.”

The words were dripping with a sarcasm sharper than scalpels. Komaeda flinched, but remained as firm as he could.

_It’s for Hinata-kun’s sake._

* * *

_It’s for Hinata-kun’s sake. Hinata-kun’s sake. Hinata-kun, Hinata-kun, Hinata-kun._

Painfully average, unexceptional, oh so typical Hinata. Irritatingly irritable, stupidly stubborn, sometimes annoyingly aggravating Hinata.

Hinata was his only friend, as pathetic as that was. He could accept being alone, of course, someone like him was blessed enough to walk the same halls as the symbols of hope so how could he ever ask for more? Sure it got lonely, but he was used to being lonely.

Being alone suited everyone else and himself best. Hinata shouldn’t have been his friend in the first place. It was almost unnatural. And yet, Hinata insisted on it. His other classmates insisted on it. Even the Class Rep insisted on it. He couldn’t really refuse no matter how much he had wanted to.

_That’s right! Hinata-kun’s friendship was forced on me from the start! I’m well within my rights of wishing to be excused!_

The sun was so bright and dazzling that he wanted it to disappear behind heavy gray clouds. The vibrancy of the blue sky above was beautiful—but it really made his ugly mood fester all the more.

_It’s better this way. It’s better, it’s better, it’s better, it’s better, it’s..._

Komaeda tripped but caught himself before he could crack his teeth on the concrete.

 _I need to focus._ He smacked his cheeks. They stung, of course, but the action helped. “Right!”

He was almost once again at the gates of Hope’s Peak Academy. There was no place for hesitation at a place like that.

And, yet, he spotted several reserve course students arriving. Those moody black uniforms they wore, that utterly hopeless air exuding from them. Komaeda would have turned his nose as he usually did—if he didn’t spot the one who stood out from the crowd.

_Hinata-kun and I usually talk before class starts._

Today was no different with Hinata patiently waiting as he always did by the gate. He was playing with his phone. Was it a game Nanami showed him? Already, Komaeda was curious.

 _No,_ he told himself firmly. _You need to focus, Nagito._

He crossed the street, but his eyes remained locked on that ridiculous brown antenna.

_For Hinata-kun’s sake... For this insignificant nobody who became special to you—you simply cannot— **lose focus**._

Tires screech. It happened so quickly and yet, he could see events unfurl as if in bullet time.

Hinata snapping up.

Everything getting knocked out of orbit.

_Pain. So **much** pain._

He’s sure he hit the pavement with enough force to tear up his uniform, and he really was fortunate to avoid breaking any teeth.

Blood hung in the air, people were screaming, and Hinata was among them.

“ ** _KOMAEDA_**!!!”

People were encircling him. So many people.

Too many.

Suffocating.

_Suffocating._

It was so hard to _breathe_! It really hurt so much!

“Komaeda... Komaeda...!” Hinata was pushing his way through. “K-Komaeda, hang in there, please...! Please!”

He could hear sirens, and everything was getting so fuzzy. Even Hinata.

How despairing. But at least he could still hear Hinata’s voice.

“Somebody, please! Komaeda...! Oh, god, Komaeda!”

_Ehehe, when Hinata-kun screams, his voice really is so high-pitched. So...high-pitched... Hinata-kun, Hinata-kun... Oh, Hinata-kun..._

“P-Please... Please hang in there. Komaeda. Komaeda. Komaeda, I _love_ you—”

_You’re so ridiculous sometimes, Hinata-kun._

With that, the last bits of consciousness slipped right through his fingers like shards slick with blood.

* * *

...

_Beep. Beep. Beeeeeep._

**_It hurts. Aah, how unlucky._ **

Komaeda shuddered as he came to, face scrunching up before his eyelids fluttered open.

He recognized his surroundings as the familiar sterile interior of a hospital room.

_Ohhh, I really am unlucky. Yukizome-sensei was serious about everyone being in class. No one missing a day. She’s going to be disappointed. Everyone’s going to be so disappointed._

The thought made his heart ache with everything else. So much, in fact, that his breathing hitched with an almost sob.

A warm hand gripped his own and squeezed.

“Shhh. Just take it easy. Please, Komaeda? For once?”

“Hi...” His voice caught in his throat for a moment. Another squeeze of his hand. “Hi...na...”

“You’re probably still in a lot of pain. Sorry. The doctors said...because of all the medication you’re taking...and treatment you’re already getting...” He could practically hear the grimace in the words. “Urgh. I’m so, so sorry, Komaeda. But who should be sorrier is that fucking idiot driver. Just what even the hell was that? You could have died!”

“...c...lass...?”

“Class?” Hinata was blinking at him in confusion. He was sure of it. It really was a shame his neck hurt too much for him to turn his head. “Oh, I... Yukizome-sensei gave me the go ahead to stick around. It’s fine. I can borrow someone else’s notes for the lectures today if necessary. I mean, like hell I was going to leave you alone and in pain at the hospital. Sheesh, Komaeda.”

_It would have been alright if you did._

Aah, but those were too many words to say at once. And it hurt. It really was unfortunate.

“Mmm...”

“That’s it...” Hinata stroked along his knuckles with his thumb. He couldn’t feel the texture exactly, so he wondered if his hand was bandaged. It did feel a little limp. He probably broke bones again. How truly unlucky. So unlucky. “Just relax, Komaeda, there, there... It’ll be okay. I’m here. I’m not gonna leave.”

Komaeda shivered. “Hi... Hiii...”

Hinata shushed him softly.

“It hurts to talk so...maybe you shouldn’t?” The words were strained. A little pained. Maybe Hinata was grimacing again. “You can be patient, right?”

Komaeda pulled his lips into a deep frown.

“Oh don’t make that face,” Hinata reprimanded. “You’re not a child, Komaeda.”

Komaeda huffed.

“Geez. You’re even a handful like this. So difficult. I was really worried about you, you know? I seriously got so frantic that I...!” Hinata stopped himself abruptly and made a funny sound. “I-I... I... Mmgh. Y-You probably...don’t remember that... Yeah.”

_Remember?_

He remembered.

_“I love you.”_

_“Komaeda, I_ love _you.”_

_“I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you **I love you**.”_

“K-Komaeda...?”

_Hinata-kun said he loved me._

And just like that!

“K-Komaeda, hey...! Wait! Don’t just black out _again_!!”

Too late.

* * *

_The bad luck of a car crashing into me...led to Hinata-kun saying that he loved me._

_I don’t...understand. I don’t understand. That’s not good luck, that’s worse luck!_

_Someone like me isn’t meant to be loved! This doesn’t make any sense! I don’t understand! I just don’t understand!_

_This isn’t how it works! This isn’t how anything works! I really don’t understand._

_Aah, this feeling... Is this despair? It must be despair! Wretched, awful, reprehensible despair! Gross! So gross!_

_Gross, gross, gross!_

_Hinata-kun said he loved me. A reserve course student. A nobody._

_He said he loved me. My only friend. Right when I was in danger of falling deeply in love with him, too._

_I don’t understand. This is the worst._

_This really is the absolute worst._

* * *

He wakes up again not long after, he thinks.

“K-Komaeda?! Are... Are you back?!”

It still hurts, but he’s gotten a little used to it. He’s always been quick to adapt, after all. He has to be, with his luck.

Hinata still looks incredibly worried but also really relieved.

“Komaeda,” he says, smile twisting with uncertainty. “Hey. Are you alright? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah.” Komaeda reaches up to rub at his temple. It makes him flinch but he can move his arm, at least. Maybe not all of his fingers, considering the braces on a few. Aah, he’s hooked up to wires, too. That beeping is really irritating. “Mmgh. I probably broke...a lot of bones.”

“I, yeah.” Hinata grimaced. “Doctor said there were fractures. B-But! They also said that of all things considered, you really got...lucky with the injuries you sustained.”

Komaeda giggled, even as it made his ribs ache.

“Yep. That’s usually how it goes for someone like me. I’m a little worried. This is a lot of bad luck all at once. Hurting all over, broken bones, likely having to miss school, disappointing my class and teacher more than I usually do, _you_ being here...”

“Why is me being here bad luck?” Hinata asked, bewildered. “Are you embarrassed about it or something?”

“A little but that’s not why.” Komaeda waved his hand. He noticed the bandages wrapped around his arm but decided to keep on talking like he hadn’t. “I’m inconveniencing you. And this is bad timing! See, I was going to tell you that I never want to see your face again, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata blinked, expression dropping leaving a blank slate behind. A blank slate. How fitting.

“Is this one of your shitty jokes?”

_Ah, Hinata-kun’s voice sounds blank, too!_

“No, it’s not! It’s serious!” Komaeda made a serious face to prove it. “I never want to see your face again. I don’t want to be friends. I allowed it in the first place because everyone else pressured me into it but enough’s enough, don’t you think?”

“No,” Hinata said. Still blank. “I don’t.”

“Well, someone like me doesn’t deserve friends,” Komaeda said. “At best I can hope for others to tolerate me, but even that’s pushing boundaries. I’m a wretched piece of garbage. And Hinata-kun is a reserve course student! I still think it’s wrong for you to mingle with the elites. But I can’t do anything about them. I can, however, do something about myself, so I’m...gonna bow out.”

Hinata just stared.

“B-Besides,” Komaeda found himself stammering. “Um, my luck tends to kill people like you. And I don’t really want that. So, Hinata-kun, for your own safety, you should stay the hell away from me! That’s the absolute truth! And I want you to stay away! I don’t even know why you stick around in the first place...!”

“Oh.” Hinata sounded almost unimpressed. “Is that it?”

_Ah, huh?_

“What kind of question is that?”

“You asked why I hang around you,” Hinata went on, ignoring the question. Right now, Hinata looked really...strange. Lashes low, gaze almost bored. “The reason should be obvious, but it’s no surprise that you have no idea, considering how you think about yourself.”

_Huh, huh, **huh**?_

“You know, I thought having a talent was everything,” Hinata said, musing idly. “But after seeing you—I really have to question that.”

Komaeda stiffened.

“What are you... _saying_?”

“That’s not important right now.” Hinata waved him off, frustrating him more. “Komaeda, I’ll just say it. I like you.”

His pulse jumped. Hinata noticed and Komaeda hated that twist of satisfaction at his lips.

“I really like you,” Hinata said again with such an unfair coolness about him. It really was so despairingly unfair. And yet. Hinata smiled at him. “I’m crazy about you, Komaeda.”

“You shouldn’t be!” The words rushed out. “I’m not just trash, I’m dangerous to be around! W-Weren’t you listening?! Don’t you have self-preservation?! I know you’re a reserve but your life still has significance, Hinata-kun! People would _miss_ you! Even my class...”

_If I disappeared, it wouldn’t make a difference to them. But they’re all so fond of Hinata-kun..._

His eyes stung. Because it hurt all over. That was it. That was all it was. Even he could cry if physical pain became agonizing.

Hinata brushed his hair back tenderly. Somehow, that was enough to get the tears flowing. Or maybe it was just coincidence. More bad luck. Something like that.

Komaeda sniffled, laughing softly and breathily, breath wheezy and cracking.

“It... I-It really hurts... Hinata-kun... It hurts so much... I-I really am pathetic, huh? Pathetic, lowly...” Hinata’s thumb brushed over his cheek. “I’m not the kind of person who’s forgiven by others much less loved by them.”

“No, that’s wrong.”

Komaeda gave another broken laugh.

“You’re such a stubborn nuisance. Why do I even tolerate you, much less like you?”

Hinata didn’t answer, but he did briefly still.

“I don’t really understand it,” Komaeda murmured, fidgeting with the blanket and pressing into Hinata’s hand. “But all the same, I’ve experienced so much bad luck all at once that I can’t really keep it under wraps. I really like you, Hinata-kun. I’m sorry.”

Hinata took his face into his hands. Carefully, as though handling glass.

“Please smile,” Hinata whispered. “Dissipate the rainclouds in your eyes and...let a smile shine on your face. Please, Komaeda? You’re way prettier when you smile than when you cry.”

Komaeda blinked, but the tears kept coming. Despite that, he was smiling.

“That’s so cheesy.” Slowly but surely, his fingers wrapped around Hinata’s wrist best they could and squeezed. “Did you come up with that yourself?”

“So what if I did? Is it too corny?”

“Yep, definitely.” He laughed, and Hinata drew closer. A shiver ran up his spine, but he just kept talking. “It’s what I’d expect, Hinata-kun. After all those flirting exercises, you’d definitely be that corny kind of lover.”

“You’re sure of that, huh?” Closer yet closer. He could smell Hinata’s cologne. “Well, you might have it right.”

“Right...” Komaeda trailed off. Hinata’s lashes were lowering, as were his own. Hinata’s thumb ran over his lower lip, making the seam of his mouth purse. Komaeda sighed, and his eyes fell fully shut.

The door slammed open with a sharp cry of, “Komaeda-kun!”

Hinata’s forehead smacked into his own with enough force to send his mind into a total spiral. Hinata groaned, rubbing at first before realizing.

“K... Komaeda?! Fuck, Komaeda, are you okay?!”

“ _Are_ you okay, Komaeda-kun?!” Yukizome asked more seriously. “I heard your injuries were serious enough that you’ll have to miss class!”

“U-Uugh... Nn...” Komaeda steadied himself a bit on Hinata’s shoulders, even as he still felt rather dizzy. “Sorry, sensei. But someone like me would have just brought down the class anyway.”

“Don’t say that!”

 _But you don’t deny it._ Hinata’s grip on him tightened. Idly, Komaeda wondered if Hinata had the same thought, but brushed it off.

“Don’t worry, Komaeda-kun!” Yukizome exclaimed. “When you come back, we’ll welcome you as a class! So focus on getting well soon!”

“Ahaha... Of course...” Komaeda swallowed. Hinata squeezed his shoulder. “Thank you, sensei.”

“Hinata-kun, thank you for staying with him,” Yukizome said. “I really appreciate it.”

“I stayed here for Komaeda’s sake so you don’t need to thank me, sensei.”

“Still! It’s nice to see Komaeda-kun with a friend!” Yukizome nodded. “It’s an invaluable part of youth!”

**_Friends._ **

That word made Komaeda shiver a little. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like either Yukizome or Hinata noticed. They just keep chatting without a care.

_Friends..._

“I...guess? You’re leaving the class to Nanami, right? You should uh, probably hurry back.”

“That’s right! I should!” With that and a swish of her ponytail, Yukizome bounced out, waving as she did. “Bye-bye, Hinata-kun! Komaeda-kun! Get well soon!”

She shut the door behind her.

“She’s full of energy as always,” Hinata said, a little exasperated. “But she’s pretty uh, in your face, too. And that’s a little troubling.”

“A little,” Komaeda murmured. “Where’s my phone? I need to text Matsuda-kun.”

“Oh, it’s over here.” Hinata handed it over. “You have Matsuda’s number?”

“Matsuda-kun’s my doctor in a way. He was going to run brain scans on me tomorrow.” Komaeda opened up his messaged and texted him about the situation, including how Hinata was with him. “Matsuda-kun has a lot of foresight, so he put his number on my phone first chance he got! Ehehe, Matsuda-kun’s so smart... So befitting of the Ultimate Neurologist...!”

Hinata frowned, averting his gaze. “I see.”

Komaeda sent the text and smiled up at him.

“Are you jealous, Hinata-kun?”

“O-Of a complete asshat like that?!” Hinata scoffed, flustered at the thought. “Get real! It’s no big deal if you compliment him. You’re...like that with all of the talented people... Not a big deal at all...”

“...Ooh! He texted back!”

“He did?!”

Hinata pressed up against his shoulder to squint his eyes at the message.

_“You owe me a soda if I seriously have to walk my ass all the way over there.”_

“So...he’s visiting...right?”

“Ah! Matsuda-kun’s really so kind!”

“...hmph.”

Komaeda replied to the text with chipper confirmation. Matsuda sent another soon after.

_“Hey Hinata, if you’re reading this: just remember. Always use protection. And don’t fucking butt in on doctor-patient conversations, you braindead reserve course gorilla. For Komaeda: next time look both ways before crossing the street. You idiot.”_

“G-Gorilla?! **_Protection_**?!”

“If you’re going to be sticking around me, you probably will need protection,” Komaeda said, making him flush a deep scarlet. “After all, my luck might send a tree crashing down on you! Extra padding could save your life, Hinata-kun!”

“...a-ah...” Hinata looked away. “That’s...what you mean.”

“What else would I mean? Condoms wouldn’t _really_ help.” He set his phone aside, and he noticed how red Hinata’s ears were. “Hinata-kun, you really are strange. You have even stranger tastes. Hey, are you sure you wouldn’t rather someone else? Like Nanami-san?”

“Not gonna happen.” Hinata x-crossed his arms. “You’re not going to change my mind, Komaeda. I...” He blushed and cleared his throat. “Uh... About almost...kissing you... Sorry. You’re not going to change my mind. I stand by that. But... I don’t want to force anything on you.”

“You forced your friendship on me, liar,” Komaeda pointed out cheerily. “Even though I’m telling you I want to break up.”

“Don’t word it like that.” Hinata scowled but that scowl dissipated at Komaeda’s apologetic smile. Hinata could only sigh. “Look... You shouldn’t worry about your luck.”

Komaeda blinked at him, bewildered. “Um. Hinata-kun. How hard did I hit your head?”

“I mean it!” he exclaimed, incensed. “I’m sticking around because _I want to_! Your luck has nothing to do with any of this!”

“Why not?” He was really, really confused. “My luck has to do with everything, right? Haha, maybe it’s because of my luck that you’ve deluded yourself into thinking that you like me! Ehe. How funny _that_ would be...”

“Wrong.” Hinata was firm. “Luck can’t determine how people feel towards you, Komaeda.”

Komaeda froze for a moment, ducking his head with a falter at his smile.

_If that were the case, I be as alone as I am. It’s only in small doses that others are willing to put up with me. Even if Yukizome-sensei says they’ll throw a party later, I doubt I’ll get any visitors. There isn’t even an excuse to visit me. We don’t have assignments. I’m not unaware. It can’t be helped. I’m trash. It’s deserved. And, yet, Hinata-kun..._

_What is this? Good luck? Bad luck? Both? Neither? What am I supposed to do about this?_

_But, but, but, Hinata-kun **is** in danger. That much is—_

Hinata’s fingers brushed over his tense knuckles. Hinata clicked his tongue, but his tone was gentle.

“Komaeda,” he murmured, stroking over the ridges again before squeezing his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You really won’t respect my wishes?” Komaeda asked, almost bitterly. “You’re terrible.”

“But you don’t actually _want_ me to leave,” he pointed out. “You’re just scared.”

“Compared to your life, what does it matter what I actually want?” Komaeda looked away in disgust and disdain. “That’s such an inane argument to make. It’s completely irrelevant.”

“It matters to me.” Hinata didn’t miss a beat. “Your feelings matter more than any risks there might be.”

_How inane, how stupid, how—_

“So much,” Komaeda said. Quietly. Barley a whisper. “Oh, Hinata-kun, you’re so much. You’re a lot more romantic than that cheesy flirting led me to believe. Haha. Hahaha.” His shoulders quiver. “I can’t win against you. How despairing.”

Slowly, almost tentatively, Hinata’s fingers thread through his hair.

“I know I’m not a symbol of hope or whatever, because I’m just a normal guy,” he mumbled. “But I don’t want to make you despair, either. I just want to be with you. I just want _you_.”

“Normal people don’t typically want either of that. So maybe you’re not as normal as you thought.” _As I had thought._ “I really, really don’t understand, but... You know, even though I don’t understand, I do know that I like you.” He swallowed. “A-A lot. More than I should. More than I thought I could, even.”

Hinata tensed, but quickly relaxed, giving a soft smile.

“That makes me happy to hear,” he said. “More than you can even imagine.”

“You really are weird, Hinata-kun.” It hurt all over still, but Hinata’s hand was warm and comforting. It wasn’t bad. It was...pleasant. Strange, that. “It’s not fair. Everyone really likes you. And you choose me. That’s so weird.”

Hinata seemed to waver for a moment.

“Can I kiss you, Komaeda?”

Komaeda blinked once, twice, and observed Hinata’s pink cheeks darken.

“My mouth is really dry, and it’ll probably taste a little of blood so, um, I’d actually recommend against it.”

“No mouth, then. Forehead.”

“...if you want...?”

Hinata kissed his temple. His lips were dry and chapped. When he pulled back, he was all bright again. Dazzling almost. It hurt to look at.

“I’ll get you a drink from the vending machine. What would you like?”

“Blue Ram.” _I’m getting antsy. I’d like to calm down._ “If that’s alright.”

“Sure thing.” Hinata beamed and headed out. Just like that.

**_Ah..._ **

His heart was racing. Just from that. One little kiss that could have very easily been chaste.

_This is too much._

He buried his face into his hands. It still hurt. All over. Even in his chest. Funny, that. How funny. So funny.

“Komaeda, I’m back.”

He glanced up, at Hinata’s easy smile and the can of soda in his hand. Komaeda swallowed.

“T... Thank you.”

He shivers just at the brush of contact between their fingers when he takes the can. Hinata, too, stiffens.

_Good luck, bad luck, this feels—so much **more** than that._

He takes a swing from the start. He drinks so quickly that the cold stings his throat and Hinata fusses.

“C-Careful! Don’t force yourself!”

“It’s how I calm down,” Komaeda said quietly, pulling away and popping his lips. “It helps.”

It did. He feels much calmer. A little drowsy.

“Hinata-kun, you also look a little agitated,” he went on, laughing a little. “Here, you can have a sip if you like.”

Hinata stiffened, but he reached for the can.

“T-That’s, uh... Thanks.”

_It’s way too much._

* * *

“How’s Komaeda-kun looking?”

It only took about ten minutes after he showed up for her to ask.

“I’m going to visit him in a bit,” Hinata said. “He’s been well enough to respond to my texts, at least.”

_Or bored enough._

“That’s good,” Nanami said with a nod, eyes still on her game. “Sonia-san was all for buying party favors. She was super excited over it and it was pretty overwhelming, I think.”

“Komaeda would be happy to hear that.” _Though..._ “You can visit him with me if you like, Nanami.”

“No.” Nanami shook her head firmly. “What’s essential in the route is having plenty of alone time. A third wheel being present messes with the synergy.”

“I think Komaeda would like to see at least some other faces than mine, Nanami.”

“No. I’m doing this for your own good, Hinata-kun.”

 _It’s for Komaeda’s sake not mine, but..._ Hinata sighed. _I can’t exactly force her to go. That would make Komaeda feel worse. Still._

Komaeda sent him a text, and that distracted him for a time.

_“Matsuda-kun visited!!”_

Attached was a picture of Matsuda clearly sticking his tongue out over the shoulder of a radiantly beaming Komaeda.

Hinata frowned, unimpressed.

“Well, Matsuda’s visiting him at least,” he muttered. “But it’s probably just because he acts as Komaeda’s doctor sometimes. Still... He didn’t need to send a picture...”

Nanami frowned a little as well. “Maybe he’s trying to make you jealous?”

“I doubt that.” _Although Komaeda does have a spiteful side._ “I’m not...worried or anything like that. Not...at all.”

Nanami hummed.

“Good luck, Hinata-kun.”

_Luck. If it weren’t for that, then Komaeda..._

He shouldn’t think like that. Luck was Komaeda’s talent. It was a _part_ of him. It was—

He found himself texting Komaeda back.

_“You really have a beautiful smile.”_

He clicked sent, and his heart jumped when his phone beeped with Komaeda’s response.

_“Flatterer!”_

Hinata’s smile twitched.

_“I’ll see you in a bit.”_

“I’m gonna get going, Nanami. See you.”

“Okay,” she said. “Be safe, Hinata-kun.”

He planned on it.

_I’m going to survive regardless of what tries to kill me. I have to. Because..._

The risk of him dying was what kept Komaeda from opening his heart completely. And yet, Komaeda could still smile at him, still flirt with him with such a calming ease, and could still say _I really like you_. That Komaeda really was an unpredictable contradiction, and Hinata adored him so much.

_Komaeda._

So, so much. So much that he felt like he could go crazy over it sometimes. Maybe he was a little crazy. But that suited him fine, right? Because it was _Komaeda_.

_Komaeda, Komaeda._

His heart skipped a beat, pounding with his feet slamming against the concrete.

_Komaeda, Komaeda, Komaeda._

It wasn’t that long to get to the hospital he was at. But twenty minutes felt like two hours.

_Komaeda!_

He’s still fidgeting as he goes down the hall and stops at Komaeda’s room. His hand’s sweaty enough to nearly slip on the doorknob, but he manages to twist it and push the door wide open.

“K-Komaeda!”

“Hinata-kun!” Beaming, Komaeda waves at him. “Matsuda-kun just left a while ago! Aha, you must have just missed him. Is that unlucky or lucky for you?”

“It’s,” Hinata swallows. “Irrelevant. You’re the one I wanted to see.”

_You’re the one I want. The one I want to be with._

“Flatterer,” Komaeda huffed, smile dropping. Hinata can only smile widely, especially as Komaeda played with his fingers. “I tripped when I tried to get food. I twisted my ankle. It was really unlucky. It’s your fault. You made me fall.”

“Fall for me?” he couldn’t help but ask, striding forward. “I’m sorry...but I’m not sorry, haha.”

“Puh, puh. No surprise from the audacious reserve, Hinata Hajime.”

Hinata took his hand, pressed a kiss to his knuckles, and squeezed. He watched with undeniable fondness as Komaeda colored.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you fall for me. But... I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me really happy.”

Komaeda scoffed, lips twisting.

“So impertinent. I wonder why I like you.”

“It’s a mystery, huh? But I know you can solve it. You’re really good at puzzles and mysteries, Komaeda.”

Komaeda was quiet, eyes flickering down to Hinata’s thumb, rubbing over his knuckles.

“Hinata-kun, you’re fortune’s fool. But perhaps... I am, too.”

“I guess we really are similar, then. Wasn’t that what you said?”

Komaeda met his gaze, and then, with a twisting smile, he nodded.

“Have you heard the saying: _these violent delights have violent ends_?”

“No,” Hinata replied, shaking his head. “I haven’t.”

“It’s from an old English play,” Komaeda murmured, and then took Hinata’s hand, pulling it up to kiss the palm. “ _Under love’s heavy burden do I sink._ ”

Hinata shivered, and when Komaeda directed him closer, he leaned in.

“Komaeda, I...”

Komaeda smiled up at him, and his breath caught.

“I... I love you.”

Komaeda’s smile fell, just a little.

“No poetry, Hinata-kun?”

“No... Sorry. Just that. I love you, Komaeda.”

Komaeda kissed his cheek. The contact was soft, a little dry, but just that one brush of contact made his skin buzz and his heart stutter.

“I can’t tell if you’re very lucky or very unlucky, Hinata-kun.”

_I can’t tell either. And I don’t care._

“I love you, Komaeda. So, so much.”

With a sigh, Komaeda leaned into his touch. Komaeda met his gaze.

“...your eyes really are so pretty, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata beamed back.


End file.
